The Martian astronomer stepped forward with an expectant thrill. He was about to take his first peep through the newly perfected telescope at the earth. For many years the work on this wonderful instrument had been prosecuted. It was, at last, to enable the people of the red planet to learn just what kind of beings inhabited the interesting sphere which they had so long been studying. Telescopes which had served to bring the earth to within an apparent distance of 200 miles of
their own globe had long been in use by the Martian astronomers, but now they were to be able to see their neighbor at an advantage which they had never previously enjoyed. The new Instrument was so powerful that the observer gazing through it would see the earth as plainly as if it had had actually been within hailing distance.
Trembling with expectancy Prof. Bzujkftsnbqm adjusted the wonderful instrument and looked. The scientists who had gathered about him held their breath and waited.
“Ah!” exclaimed the professor. “At last I am able to actually see the people who inhabit our sister planet. I am awed. They appear to be very near—so near that I can plainly see them moving about. They are—bless my soul—they are drawing nearer! It must be that my eyes are becoming accustomed to the instrument. Yes, that accounts for it. I can see them very plainly now. They seem to be only a few yards away. It is wonderful—wonderful!” “What kind of looking people are they?” asked one of the excited scientists.
“A most curious looking people. And their actions are very ridiculous. They have arms and legs, as we have, and they do not wear their heads upside down, as some of us have previously supposed. No, their heads are right side up—but such curious looking heads! Their faces are astonishingly ugly. They have noses of enormous size—horribly shaped noses of a dull leaden color. I regret to have to report that they bear little resemblance to us. They are human beings, undoubtedly, but they , are in a very early stage of development, or it would be better, perhaps, to say in an advanced stage of degeneracy. They possess none of the God-like attributes with which we ourselves are endowed Grace, as we know it, is absolutely lacking in them. They have horrible noses, as I have said. The proboscis of each of them seems to cover the larger part of the face, extending from the hair line upon the rudimentary forehead clear down to where the chin should be, and spreading out ii revolting dimensions. Their bodies, too, are badly disproportioned. There are great bunches at the joints on their arms and legs, and altogether they are about as unattractive in appearance as could be imagined.”
The scientists who had gathered around to hear the professor’s report were grievously disappointed. The telescopes which had previously been in use had enabled them to discover upon their sister planet evidence of vast enterprises that were apparently the results of human endeavor, and they had pictured mundane man as a creature nearly approaching them selves in physical appearance and mental endowments. Naturally the sudden demolition of their theory came as a shock. Still, they hoped that the professor might have formed a hasty conclusion. The scientists looked at other and shook their heads. A great disappointment had come to them. At last one of them, more hopeful than the rest, said: is one an “Perhaps It is unfair to judge the people of the earth by their appearance alone. What are they doing, professor? We must remember that actions better indicate than mere looks do the characteristics of people well as of other animate things.”
“I am afraid,” the astronomer plied as he continued his observations, “that little satisfaction is to be derived from a study of the actions of our earthly fellow men. perhaps 20 of them. They are in an inclosure and appear to be engaged in a terrible battle. They are horribly dirty and are fiercely attacking another, apparently to gain possession of a small oval object which must be something they desire to cat. There! One of them has Just secured possession of It, and all the others pouncing upon him, with the evident intention of tearing him to pieces. They are clawing and striking and kicking, it is awful. Blood is streaming down the fronts of two They are all struggling in a conglomerate mass, and— oh ! Horrible! Horrible! One of them has just torn the nose completely from another’s face. It is too sickening to be described. Gentlemen, look for yourselves if care to. I have no desire to see more.”
But his fellow scientists had no wish to behold the slaughter. Sad at heart, they turned away,, and in the next number of the Scientific Martian Prof. Bzujkftsnbqm described in an interesting manner what he had seen through the wonderful new telescope, regret fully offering the opinion that men they existed on earth had lapsed into a savage state and would in all probability continue to indulge in brutal warfare until extermination resulted.
—Chicago Record-Herald.